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Dr. Cube is sad when his mom doesn't make his PB&JInterview with Kaiju Big Battel's Dr. Cube Regarding the Terebi Sento DVD
With Jager

With the new release of Terebi Sento hitting stores, we made a few living sacrafices to ask for audience with Dr. Cube to see his thoughts on the DVD's release.

MillionairePlayboy.com: First off, I want to thank you, Dr. Cube, for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with me about Terebi Sento, Kaiju Big Battel's first DVD.

As you know on September 30th Kaiju released its first DVD, Terebi Sento. This has introduced many new people to the Kaiju Big Battel. How do you plan to use this DVD and newly found fans to further you plans of world domination?

Dr. Cube: First off, I cannot stomach a brown nose. Save the compliments and flowery prose for the fools you are used to interviewing. As for my plans, all you need to know is this—once a human being is introduced to Kaiju Big Battel it is only a matter of time before they realize that the only true path is a life of servitude to my Posse.

MillionairePlayboy.com: Along those lines, I was surprised to see three pamphlets pointing out the reasons for joining your cause inserted into the DVD's case. How did you sneak this propaganda into the case right under the Commissioner's nose?

Dr. Cube: Do you think that Austrian boob really knows what goes on in his pathetic little fiefdom? Like every other place on Earth, Kaiju Headquarters is crawling with my loyal Minions. The tracts you mention are the handiwork of one my more clever followers who just happened to be employed in the Kaiju HQ's shipping department.

MillionairePlayboy.com: What is your favorite part of the Terebi Sento? Least?

Dr. Cube: I have no favorite parts of that DVD. The Commissioner predictably stuffed it full of blatant propaganda, painting that dud of a spud Silver Potato to be some sort of super Hero. Rest assured that I am taking action to prevent further misrepresentation in future DVDs.

MillionairePlayboy.com: During the three way battle between Mung Wun, Dusto Bunny, and American Beetle; Mung Wun laid an egg! This possibly signals the coming of a new Kaiju. How do you plan to use this Kaiju to your benefit? Or the egg? Could this be used as leverage towards the possible fathers?

Dr. Cube: Your questions are beginning to bore me. I frankly could not care less about the antics of those promiscuous insects. I've proved again and again the superiority of Cube's Posse. I hardly think the contents of one egg could ever be of concern.

MillionairePlayboy.com: At the start of your Battel with Uchu Chu, you called in your Minions to do your dirty work, then after they were thwarted you called in your newly made Super Minions. Then after they were beaten by the Space Bug you called the bounty hunter, Super Akuma on your cell phone. Why didn't you just take on Uchu Chu yourself?

Dr. Cube: Did Alexander the Great conquer the world by himself? Did he personally slay each and every soldier in the armies he crushed? Of course not. Great leaders delegate. I am no exception.

MillionairePlayboy.com: How did you find Super Akuma's number? Surely he isn't in the Yellow Pages.

Dr. Cube: If that question was a Kaiju Hero it would be Slo Feng—big, dumb, and stupid.

MillionairePlayboy.com: Let's talk about Dino Kang Jr. for a moment. This creation of yours has become a commentator, and does little evil. Have you lost control of this Pokemon-like monster, or is he a well placed mole?

Dr. Cube: Do not be fooled by Dino Kang Jr.'s appearance. His cuddly exterior hides a heart of pure evil. It is only a matter of time before his wrath is unleashed upon Kaiju Big Battel.

MillionairePlayboy.com: Finally, while watching Terebi Sento what is your favorite snack to much on?

Dr. Cube:I'm not even going to respond to your feeble question, other than to offer the following advice—stop writing about toys, comics and other meaningless drivel and dedicate your life to spreading the word of Dr. Cube.

This interview is over.


WWE 2003

All characters and likenesses are copyright their respective owners. All images and this article are copyright 2003 MillionairePlayboy.com and may not be reprinted without permission.


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