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Alien vs. Predator
by Mr. Stinkhead vs. Princess of Power

Mr. Stinkhead and the Princess of Power own the Alien Quadrilogy and have watched all 45 hours of bonus material, and each of the directors' cuts many, many times. With such a strong love for the Alien franchise, they were surprisingly divided over the release of the movie AVP, available on DVD on Tuesday the 25th.

A follow-up review of the DVD bonus features will follow a little later this week.

Minor spoilers.

Princess of Power says:
I enjoyed watching the Aliens and the Predators on the big screen again. After watching the first four Alien films so many times, I appreciate that there can't be a fifth installment without contradicting the currently accepted "timeline." This was a good outing that satisfied the thirst of seeing these favorite characters in a theater again.

I did like the what-if scenario of Aliens on Earth that this premise allows, and seeing the Aliens running around in Earth environments, as opposed to the traditionally dark-lit spaceship corridors. Seeing "normal" humans fight the aliens instead of astronauts or space marines, was refreshing as well

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Check out our review of the Plush face hugger and chest burster!
I also liked watching the Predators' and the Aliens' mythologies interacting together in a new story line. I enjoyed seeing the people having to figure out the Aliens' "rules" all over again. And then dealing with the Predators' rules without someone there to explain it all. It was also pretty sweet seeing the hieroglyphics and the art/architecture of the temple with Aliens and Predators mixed in.

It was great seeing the egg-facehugger-chestburster-drone-queen levels all in one movie without feeling too forced. Every thirst was satisfied in that respect.

My biggest complaint with this film was that the fight scenes, and most of the action, were too zoomed-in and blurry. However, I did like what they did end up showing. One of my favorites was the Predator's razor wire making the Alien's acid blood burn a sweet looking pattern on that one Alien's head. I just wish we could have seen some more of those signature attacks and gore.

One of my big complaints with the entire Alien filmography is how the gestation time between face hugger and chestburster varies from film to film, it seems to be the quickest in this film, sped up to move the film along to the real action, which was not quick enough regardless.

Some people did not like one aspect of the ending. Similar to how the U.S. behaved in the Cold War and WWII, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" doctrine has proven to be successful in history. Some audience members found this laughable in the context of humans and Aliens and Predators, but I it didn't bother me that much.

I did think the whole Alien-head-as-a-shield was a cute visual gag, but otherwise ridiculous; it would have been better if it was suggested, but then dropped. I had a hard time taking this scene seriously.

I also did not like how the story was filmed and/or trimmed to fit within a PG-13 rating. I'm hoping that the DVD will have enough extras to make it R.

P.S. Mr. Stinkhead is a liar below... he doesn't even eat popcorn at the theater!

P.P.S. He will be buying the DVD for me on Tuesday because he is a very sweet husband, yet slightly whipped—he's buying a movie he hates, now that's funny!

Mr. Stinkhead says:
When it comes down to it, I can never consider this movie as part of the Alien canon. I recognize that most people do not enjoy each of the four previous movies equally, nor do I, but I do count the four high in my favorites list. Alien, right off the bat is one of my favorite movies ever, and is my favorite of the set. Basically I enjoy each of the movies for the different genres and directors they represent. It's engaging to me to see different takes on a common theme. It's true that Resurrection is no where near the quality of Alien, however I can enjoy it for what it is.

facehugger!That being said, I still had a hard time swallowing AVP. I felt that the story was thrown together because the writers had been locked in a room until it was complete, and they were desperate for freedom. Surprisingly, that was the feeling generated when I saw this movie in theaters.

Crime #1: this movie is PG-13. Limit the gore and suspense to get a lower rating, and get more teenie-boppers in the theater. Thanks a lot..

Yes, I loved seeing the Alien jump around the screen again, and kick a little ass. It was a bit thrilling, because after Resurrection, I assumed I wouldn't see the xenomorph in a theater again. (I assumed that after Alien 3 as well...) But that novelty of the Alien being "alive" again is only comparable to that OnStar commercial with the Tim Burton Batmobile. It was cool seeing the Batmobile drive around again, especially after my eyes had been burned by that Schumacher monstrosity, but that doesn't mean I'm going to buy a copy of that commercial on DVD. It was a novelty, plain and simple.

I'm familiar enough with the "Hollywood machine" to understand that several less-than-noble economic decisions are green lighted. I didn't walk into the theater thinking this would trounce Aliens or that it would become one of my favorites. I'm not retarded. I knew I was entertaining myself for two hours. Something to watch while eating popcorn. I love movies like this, thus my love of Blue Crush. However my anger comes from all of the cop-outs that the production team made. You got me in the seat. I paid my $9. Entertain me dammit! The coolest scenes of the Alien and the Predator fighting were obscured by quick motions and heavy shadows. The story was so laughably contrived and poorly thought out that I almost vomited. Funny. The writing made audience members vomit at the original Alien in 1979. Who knew?

So yes, this movie actually made me angry, which is tough for a movie to do. Even if I think a movie is dumb, I will at best, forget about it. This film burned a hole in my consciousness that can only be repaired by watching something so dumb, it's smart. Enjoy something as it was intended to be enjoyed. To the batpoles Robin!


You can pick up this movie on Tuesday from Amazon.com. Come back a little later this week for a rundown on the extra features, including alternate beginning, and see if either of our opinions changed with a second viewing.

Check out all of our collected Alien coverage, including action figures and the plush facehugger and chestburster.

Review ©2005 MillionairePlayboy.com




 
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