Captain America: The First Avenger hits theaters today. Created in 1941 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, Captain America wore his patriotism on his sleeve (not to mention his chest, head, shield, and pirate boots) and did his bit to save the world from the Axis Powers. And, after years of waiting (and one crappy movie starring the son of J. D. Salinger for Pete’s sake!), we’re finally getting a Cap movie! Of course, Captain America was not the only WWII-era freedom fighter. There were a host of others who hit the front lines. However, unlike Cap, most of them will never be seen on the big screen. Some are forgotten, some are ridiculous, but all of them make up the Essential Seven WWII-Era Comic Book Patriots Without Cool Movie Adaptations! Click below to check them out.

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When we first saw the group of bounty hunters assemble on the bridge of the Executor in The Empire Strikes Back, many of us shouted innumerable questions about them. Who are they? What are they capable of? Why would a bad ass like Vader need freelancers? The bounty hunters in Star Wars are always mysterious and unpredictable, so here are the Essential Seven unanswered questions concerning bounty hunters in the Star Wars Universe.

…continue reading Essential Seven Unanswered Questions: Bonus Bounty Hunters Edition

Recently, I celebrated my new job by heading back to the comic book store for the first time in three years. My poison has always been Detective Comics. Sure, I’ve dabbled in Captain America, flirted with The Avengers, and convinced myself that Action Comics could be interesting, but I’ve always been faithful to Batman’s original title. So, I’m back on the wagon. Or is that “off the wagon,” since I’m referring to succumbing to a vice? I can’t remember, and in any case, this is a moot point, as nerds typically don’t use this analogy to describe comic book and action figure addictions. If we did, we certainly wouldn’t use “wagon” when we could go with “starship” or “landspeeder.” At the very least it would be a small scooter that transforms into a robot. Anyway, I’ve always loved Detective for its long history, consistent writing, and cool covers. However, in the last 71 years, a few covers have made us step back and say “WTF?” Here are seven of them.
…continue reading Essential Seven WTF? Comic Book Covers-The Detective Comics Edition

There’s just something about summer that makes me go back to those great (and not so great) power ballads of the 1980s. It may be that I spent most of my summers in the 1980s watching Mtv and riding around the neighborhood on my bike with a boom box blasting Motley Crue and Poison songs. Whatever it is, I do love a good power ballad on a hot summer day. Several summers ago, just as YouTube started up, I revisited many power ballad videos that I hadn’t seen in nearly 15 years and came to love the goofy world contained within them. In fact, after watching several of the videos on this list, I remember walking out to my car and wishing that I could stop in the middle of the road and shred a really awesome solo while wearing a leather duster without a shirt on underneath (the uniform required for a power ballad to assert one’s masculinity).

So, I thought it might be fun to compile my Essential Seven Power Ballads. Please note, I prefer to use the term “power ballad,” as opposed to “hair ballads,” as I would not call all of the bands on this list hair bands. Oh, and don’t tell me that I forgot Damn Yankees’ “High Enough.” It was released in 1990.

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“Look, in a small town in Southern IL, it’s… giant Superman statue?…” But what about Smallville, you ask? Well, if Smallville is sooo great and truly is Superman’s hometown, why don’t they have a giant Superman statue in the middle of town or even a Superman museum? Metropolis does! In 1972, to increase tourism, the citizens of  Metropolis embraced the fact that the their town shared a name with Superman’s fictional city. So, they erected a giant statue of The Man of Steel next to the county courthouse and built a Superman museum to honor their hero’s past. The town’s newspaper is even called The Metropolis Planet. There is also the largest Dippin’ Dots, The Ice Cream of the Future, store, but that’s another story all together. The cool thing about Metropolis is that D. C. Comics is totally on board, declaring the town to be “Superman’s Hometown.” The town was even depicted in a few issues of the Superman Comics.

…continue reading The Superman Museum

With George Lucas’ recent announcement that he is planning a 3-D release for both of the Star Wars trilogies, given Avatar’s success with the format, we here at Millionaire Playboy are becoming nostalgic for a time before multiple re-releases, special editions, endless waves of action figure variations, and disappointing prequels. Don’t get us wrong, we’re fans, but we feel like we’re beyond the point of over-saturation. And, as a result, we’re thinking about that period of time when Star Wars wasn’t considered cool anymore, when we combed flea markets for idiots selling entire shoeboxes of action figures for a buck, when the Lucasfilm Fan Club Magazine slowly but surely morphed into the Star Wars Insider, and when any news from George Lucas about future projects and movies offered hope and excitement that Star Wars would eventually make a triumphant return. Basically, we were like Obi-Wan Kenobi, sitting around in a little hovel thinking about the past and waiting for something to happen. We’re talking about the Dark Time, the period that began after the release of Return of the Jedi in 1983 and extended to the release of the Star Wars Special Edition in 1997. Despite the absence of new movies and media hype, there were some cool collectibles (we’re using the term as all-encompassing to include books, videogames, and model kits, as well as toys), even if they were few and far between. So, here are the Essential Seven Star Wars Collectibles from the Dark Time!

…continue reading Essential Seven Star Wars Collectibles from the Dark Time, 1984-1996

On April 3, the new, new series of Doctor Who will debut with a new show runner, new writers, new companions, and a new Doctor, played by Matt Smith. Even though the Tenth Doctor didn’t want to go, he regenerated after saving the Earth from his own people in “The End of Time.” And, now, the Eleventh incarnation of the Doctor, with his bow tie and floppy hair, will step inside the Tardis. The concept of regeneration has kept the show fresh and exciting for nearly fifty years. While not all of the actors to portray the Time Lord from Gallifrey have had the best material (or costume, in poor Colin Baker’s case), they were all amazing actors who brought something new to the role. So, to celebrate yet another new incarnation of the Doctor, we’re counting down the essential seven Doctors from Doctor Who.

…continue reading Essential Seven Doctors from Doctor Who

“Our rivals can’t repel team spirit of this magnitude!” Recently, students at the University of Mississippi started a movement to elect Admiral Ackbar as the University’s new mascot. The Admiral would replace Col. Reb, who was retired in 2003. Sensing a trap by George Lucas to take over the University, school officials have stated that the famed Rebel leader from Mon Calamari doesn’t have a chance. However, support for Ackbar has run deep and wide. Other universities should be paying attention. For those schools looking for a new mascot, here is a list of seven minor Star Wars characters that would make great mascots. (Editor’s note: It will be clear from this article that while we know our Star Wars, our knowledge of sports is limited to what we learned from watching the Major League movies.)

…continue reading Essential Seven Star Wars Characters That Should Be Mascots

Eddie “Donkeylips” Gelfen

This is Dr. Kahn, your camp leader, with the Camp Anawanna camper profile of the day. Every group of pre-teen misfits needs a fat kid who goes by a nickname that accentuates his fatness. Our resident chunker is Eddie “Donkeylips” Gelfen. In the grand tradition of Chunk, Fat Kid, Cartman, and Vern, Donkeylips is husky, sweaty, and constantly dreams of fatty foods. He is not above eating rock-hard, painted macaroni during arts and crafts. Despite his girth, he proved his worth during the camp’s game of capture the flag. In addition to being the token fattie, this is a man at the heart of a love triangle. He is torn between serving as Budnick’s sidekick and enforcer and being Sponge’s best friend. With Budnick, he is feared, but with Sponge, he can be himself. Despite this identity struggle, he remains honest, loyal, and smelly. Where would we be without a fat kid?

In Season One, the new camper was the blond, athletic Michael Stein. In Season Two, after Michael left camp due to a case of the chicken pox, viewers were introduced to the floppy-haired, smooth talkin’ Ronnie Pinsky. Budnick ran both of their shorts up the flagpole. However, this is the only similarity between the two characters. SYS fans are divided, placing the debate over Michael and Pinksy alongside arguments about Mike vs. Joel and Claudia Wells vs. Elisabeth Shue.

…continue reading The Great Salute Your Shorts Debate: Michael vs. Pinksy