Z.Z. Ziff

This is Dr. Kahn, your camp leader, with the Camp Anawanna camper profile of the day. Today’s camper can either be found sitting under a tree singing a song about our sweet Mother Earth or standing on first-base thinking about a poem, much to Telly’s chagrin. She is Z. Z. Ziff, our sweet but somewhat absent-minded hippie Earth child. However, don’t get the impression that she is dumb. She once cooked up a scheme to bribe her fellow campers with a trip to a waterslide park so they would help her clean up trash around camp. With her goofy side ponytail and planet Earth earrings, she could certainly be seen as cute, but don’t get any ideas fellows, she is married to the planet!

Sponge Harris

This is Dr. Kahn, your camp leader, with the Camp Anawanna camper profile of the day. Today’s camper is the camp genius—Sponge Harris. The rumor is that if you squeeze his head, random bits of information will leak out. Smart beyond his years, he has developed a rather astute assessment of camp, noting, “The food bites, bugs bite, activities bite, everything bites!” Of course, we can’t use this slogan in our marketing and recruiting efforts! Poor Sponge often has the best of intentions, such as starting a camp newspaper and trying to gain weight for the camp’s wrestling team, but is usually taken advantage of by Budnick and/or Pinsky. And who could forget the time the entire camp made him stay awake so he could win a radio trivia contest? Ah, Sponge, we salute you!

Dina Alexander

This is Dr. Kahn, your camp leader, with the Camp Anawanna camper profile of the day. Today’s camper is Dina Alexander. Her family has a zillion dollars, so she can afford to work on her tan and read magazines all summer. When she is not out sunbathing, she spends her time gushing about her favorite singer, Jamie Mallet, Jr., and avoiding Donkeylips’ drooling advances. Many around camp would label her as the camp’s “hottie.” Not me, of course, as I am a fully-grown adult with some type of doctoral degree that enables me to run a camp without ever being seen. Anyway, Dina once played the lead in our camp’s production of Cinderella with disastrous results, and it was rumored that she had dinner with Janet Jackson. They had “Norwegian salmon, all the way from Norwege.” She may not be the sharpest arrowhead at the archery range, but she has spunk and certainly has broken a few hearts.

Bobby Budnick

This is Dr. Kahn, your camp leader, with the Camp Anawanna camper profile of the day. Today’s camper is our resident troublemaker—Robert “Bobby” Budnick. He is known for his carefully crafted mullet and his love of camouflage coats and Megadeth. Be weary of his schemes and his crazy stories about Zeke the Plumber. Budnick is an expert at feigning sick and never passes up an opportunity to run a new kid’s shorts up the flagpole, much to the chagrin of his arch nemesis, counselor Kevin Lee. However, he knows his limits. At one time, he thought Dina was the perfect girl, but, in the end, he could not let her take away his most prized possession: his long red hair. He was last seen being pushed aside in a video arcade by the T-1000 in Terminator 2.

On July 15th, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opens nationwide. When it comes to the Harry Potter film adaptations, most hardcore Potter fans and casual readers alike agree on one simple fact: the books are better. Sure, the movies are fun and extremely well-cast, but many fans prefer to dive into the more detailed and epic books. Though we could probably make a strong case for the adaptation of Prisoner of Azkaban, we’ll agree with this assessment. However, it got us thinking: Are there movies out there that surpass the original source material? The short answer is “yes,” there are, and here are the essential seven:

…continue reading Essential Seven Movies Better Than The Books That They Are Based On

Today is the official first day of summer. For some reason, summer always makes me nostalgic. So, let’s look back at a cool summer toy: The Fisher Price Play Family Camper.

…continue reading Summer is here! Let’s go camping!

Officially, summer is almost here. In anticipation of lazy, hazy, crazy summer days, we are counting down the essential seven movies about summer. We’re not talking about summer movies; we already did that list. Here, we’re not just celebrating movies that take place during the summer months, but those movies that capture the spirit of summer. It’s all here: baseball games, swimming pools, summer camps, killer parties, summer love, and long trips in the family station wagon. We’re having fun all summer long, baby!

…continue reading Essential Seven Movies About Summer

Today is Michael J. Fox’s birthday and, as you can see from his driver’s license, Marty McFly’s birthday. How cool is that?

For those of you just tuning in, The Good Parts is regular column, documenting our ongoing search for the good parts in even the biggest, messiest cinematic train wrecks. As you can tell by the title of this edition, I certainly have my work cut out for me. Released in 1995, First Knight tells the legendary tale of love and betrayal, featuring King Arthur and his first knight, Sir Lancelot. The adventures of the Knights of the Round Table are universally known and cherished, so what went wrong? Well, to answer this question, look no further than the second name on the movie poster: Richard Gere.

…continue reading The Good Parts: First Knight

Anticipating Friday’s release of J. J. Abrams’ Star Trek, we’re paying homage to some of the hottest women in the universe. And, no, not all of them have slept with Captain Kirk.

Deanna Troi

Star Trek The Next Generation

Species: Human/ Batazoid

Turn Ons: Chocolate, a beardless Riker

Status: She has an imzadi, which is like being super married

Comments: Oh, those unisex bodysuits! No wonder Captain Jellico, who temporarily took over command of the Enterprise in “Chain of Command,” wanted her to wear a proper uniform. Who could sit in the captain’s chair, tug on the bottom of their shirt, and issue orders with her on the bridge?