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Essential Seven 2009 Summer Films

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The 2009 summer movie season is about to begin with X-Men: Wolverine Origins film hitting theaters next week. So what can we expect? Should we see all of these films? We have no idea if these films are going to suck or not. Hell, some of us here at MPB refuse to see the films on the list. But to be good journalists we narrowed down all of the summer films to a key seven. We don’t like everything that is coming out. We are providing our opinions, and think we have produced a list of the Essential Seven 2009 Summer Movies:

7) GI-JOE: The Rise of Cobra

Gi Joe

Another one of our childhood cartoons is now coming to the big screen in this real life adaption released in August. GI Joe:The Rise of Cobra is directed by Stephen Sommers, who also directed The Mummy and its first sequel. Not the most promising choice. The trailer shows a lot of great action, but the lack of dialog makes us question if the film has any substance. Sneak peeks of Destro and Cobra Commander have us concerned that this film is just going to suck balls.

Our Opinion
Will be a great action film, but not very true to the GI-JOE lore.

6) Public Enemies

7_summer_07

Who doesn’t like movies based on criminals?  The crime drama is set during the Great Depression based on the real life story of FBI agent Melvin Purvis’ (played by Christian Bale) attempt to stop criminals John Dillinger (played by Johnny Depp), Baby Face Nelson, and Pretty Boy Floyd. The trailer sold me on the stunning visuals. The film looks fantastic. Michael Mann usually delivers. However, keep in mind that Mann thought it would be a great idea to bring an adaption of Miami Vice to the big screen.

Our Opinion:
Casting both Depp and Bale may be a mistake. Both actors are big A list stars.

5)  Terminator: Salvation

7_summer_03

Where should we begin? This film has a lot of controversy. The biggest being Christian Bale going crazy ape-shit at the director of photography. Who cares really? So Bale in real-life may be an asshole? That is the least of our concerns. Next, you have the movie directed by McG. The guy who brought us Charlie’s Angels. That’s a big concern, that movie sucked. Finally, do we really need another Terminator film? The last movie was sub-par, and the TV show just bores us to tears. James Cameron has even gone on record saying that he believed T2 was the best way to end the franchise. We will concede that the trailer makes the film look amazing, but keep in mind our article Essential Seven List on Misleading Trailers.

Our Opinion:
Christian Bale is a great actor, so we may be pleasantly surprised. The film can’t be as good as T2, and in the end won’t really breathe new life into the franchise.

4) X-Men: Wolverine Origins

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It’s hard to rank this at number four since so many people have already seen the film. Don’t let the reviews of the leaked copy sway you. We still don’t really know how the final version differs from the leaked version. Hopefully FOX re-shot the final sequence, and will give one of our favorite characters lore won’t be screwed.

Our Opinion:
Even with the leaked copy the film is going to do well. If FOX fixed the problems, this film could be on par with X2. Either way they are going to get my $10

3) Star Trek

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Out of all the films, this one scares the living crap out of me. I’m a huge Star Trek fan, and the possibility of J.J. Abrams re-imagining Star Trek, could really put me in a deep depression. Early buzz is good. Will it stand the test of time? Probably not. In our mind there can only be one actor that can play James Kirk, and Chris Pine isn’t it!

Our Opinion:
The film will be a success with non-Trekkies, but hardcore fans will not enjoy it.

2) Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

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Will the people who hated the first film, give Bay another shot? I won’t. The first film had amazing visuals and action. I can’t get past the horrible acting, story, and lack of respect for Transformers lore. The clip released earlier this week re-inforced how bad the dialog is. I’m in the minority with this opionion. Most people thorougly enjoyed the first film, and will most likely support the sequel.

Our Opinion:
The film will be successful. Most likely even more than the first. Michael Bay just has that magic touch turning crap into gold.

1) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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We’re biased on this one. Our love of Harry Potter easily places this at number one.  We have also been waiting for this film, longer than we should with the delay.  The negative reactions to the early test screening doesn’t have us concerned. We trust that Warner Bros. has fixed the problems.

Our Opinion:
We are accustommed to the films not following the books exactly.  It won’t be a surprise that some things are cut. The book / film is a transition before the shit hits the fan in part seven. Something that we can’t wait for!


The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at MillionairePlayboy.com believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will promise not to laugh at your dumb opinion! 😉


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Comments: 3 Comments
  • I need to see Inglorious Basterds, the Tarantino piece about Nazi-hunters, starring Brad Pitt… the trailer will make your balls melt

  • Jon

    Land of the Lost, Bruno, Year One, and Up will also get my $7.50 (matinee prices)

    • Bruno and Year One was on my list, but I only had to choose 7