LEGO

Essential Seven Disturbing Neighborhood of Make Believe Characters

MrRogers

Watching Mr. Rogers as an adult is a different experience than watching the show as a child. You begin to notice weird and strange things from the show. For instance, why do the human characters pretend to ride in Trolley, when they just walk beside it? How many rooms does the museum-go-round actually have? Why do I find the puppet of Queen Sarah kinda hot?

The characters created by Fred Rogers are the most interesting aspect of the show. Most of the characters are normal. Henrietta Pussycat was the jealous character. Daniel Stripèd Tiger was shy. However, some of the characters were just disturbing. Their behavior on the show was abnormal, and I’m not really sure what they brought to the show. That is why this week we have identified the Essential Seven Disturbing Neighborhood of Make Believe Characters.

7) Bob Dog

Bob Dog
Bob Dog was one of the bizarre human characters who dressed in a costume. Bob was the neighborhood dog who howled a lot. He is also easily confused. When he realizes he behaves badly, he punishes himself. This would include if he ever humped Lady Aberlin’s leg. Bad Dog!

6) Prince Tuesday

Prince Tuesday

Prince Tuesday isn’t disturbing as much as he is “slow.” The son of King Friday and Queen Sara, is the typical spoiled rich kid who doesn’t understand his place in the world. The Prince is consumed with who he is and who his father is. Tuesday attends school in the land of Some Place Else with Daniel Striped Tiger and Anna Platypus. It’s pretty clear that he isn’t “all there.” When Daniel Striped Tiger is smarter than you, you know your the retarded kid. Do you remember when trolley was decorated as the school bus? There was a reason why it was a short bus!

5) Purple Panda

Purple Panda

From the planet Purple, Purple Panda is actually a girl named “Pauline.” Everything an everyone is the same on Planet Purple. Panda travels to and from her home planet by “the purple way”, which happens  when you think about it. Citizens of the Planet Purple are forbidden to sit in rocking chairs. Sitting in one will banish them from the Planet Purple forever.

4) Cousin Mary Owl

Cousin Mary Owl

X the Owl’s cousin Mary was another human / costumed character.  Dressing like an owl, we were supposed to believe that her and X were somehow cousins. How in the hell are we supposed to believe that! In a weird way, I also found her hot. (Editors Note: Ok that is two mentions of finding characters on Mr. Rogers hot.)

3) Robert Troll

Robert TrollBob Trow’s other human character was the strange little man, Bob Troll. Bob spoke in a weird childlike mumbling known as “troll talk.” I was never really sure what Bob Troll’s purpose was other than being a retarded troll.

2) Cornflake S. Pecially

Cornflake S. PecialtyCornflake was the creepy owner of the factory specializing in production of dolls, pretzels, trolleys, and primarily rocking chairs. He is hermit and rarely seen in the Land of Make Believe. What does he do all day long? Who buys all those damn rocking chairs? Where do all the missing puppets disappear to? Hmmm…..

1) Lady Elaine Fairchilde

Lady Elaine FairchildeThe antagonist of the Neighborhood of Make Believe, Lady Elaine was also the creepiest puppet ever made. Seriously, Lady Elaine was scary as a child. She took over the Museum-Go-Round and its hundreds thousands of rooms after the Froggs moved away. She was always scheming and hypnotizing people with her Boomerang-Toomerang-Zoomerang. Her favorite activity is pointing out when King Friday is in the wrong. If I were the King, I wouldn’t put up with that bitch.


The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at MillionairePlayboy.com believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will promise not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)

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