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Essential Seven TV Show Christmas Episodes

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Television shows always have that special Christmas episode. You know what I’m talking about. It usually involves somebody  learning the true meaning of Christmas. A favorite that almost made this list was the Family Ties episode where Alex (Michael J. Fox) is haunted by the ghosts of Christmas past and future to see how his greed would hurt those he loved.

This time of year I like to search through the cable channels and catch all of the different special Christmas episodes. Cheers, Full House, All in the Family, and Frasier are some of my favorites.  So I got to thinking, this weeks list would feature the Essential Seven TV Show Christmas Episodes.

7) Seinfeld: The Strike

Seinfeld The Strike

Kramer announces that H&H Bagels has met the demands of the striking employees allowing him to return to work after 12 years. Jerry dates a girl who doesn’t always look good. Elaine’s fake phone number backfires when she loses her card for a free sandwich. The best part of the episode though is George’s dad reviving the made up holiday of Festivus. “A Festivus for the rest of us!” The non-denominational holiday includes a Festivus pole, the feats of strength and the airing of grievances.

6) Family Guy: A very special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas

Family Guy Christmas

Stewie is paranoid about meeting the “fat man in a red suit.”  He doesn’t trust anybody who maintains a 24-hour surveillance of children. Meanwhile, Peter accidentally donates all the family’s presents to Toys for Toddlers, forcing Lois to buy all the presents the night before Christmas.  It doesn’t help that Peter is obsessed with watching his favorite Christmas special Kiss Saves Santa.

5) The Simpsons: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

Simpsons Christmas

This was the first Simpsons episode I ever saw, and instantly fell in love with the show. On a shopping trip Bart sneaks away and to get a tattoo. Marge has the tattoo removed using the Christmas jar fund. With no money for gifts, Homer is forced to work as Santa in the mall. After taxes, his check is for only $13. Hoping to win big at the track Homer bets everything on the dog Santa’s Little Helper, believing it to be a sign. The dog comes in dead last. As they leave the stadium the dog follows Homer and Bart home as a Christmas gift.

4) How I Met Your Mother: How Lily Stole Christmas

How I Met Your Mother Christmas

It’s Christmas time and Lily has decorated the apartment into a “Winter Wonderland.” When Lily comes across the old answering machine she sees that there is still a message on it. The message was from Ted to Marshall trying to convince him to get over Lily and calls her a “Grinch” (now he said Grinch, but what he really said was C***. Hey it’s Christmas even I will censor it!) Lily storms takes down the “Winter Wonderland.”  Ted leaves to celebrate with his sister to keep the peace. Feeling bad, Lily and the gang show up to bring Ted home. He apologizes for calling Lily a “Grinch.” Unfortunately,  Ted’s nieces and nephews hear the apology, and start chanting “Grinch, Grinch, Grinch…”

3) The Office: A Benihana Christmas

The Office

Carol is upset that Michael superimposed his head on the body of Carol’s former husband in a family photo, and used it as hit Christmas card. She breaks up with Michael leaving him stuck with an extra ticket to Jamaica. To pep up Michael, Andy along with Jim, & Dwight go to “Asian Hooters” or Benihanas. Meanwhile, Pam and Karen plan a rival Christmas party to Angela’s. Michael and Andy bring the Asian waitresses to the Dundler Mifflin Party. Michael though is unable to tell the two waitresses apart. When he does figure out “which one is his” he marks her arm with a Sharpie. He then offers to take her to Jamaica.

2) The Brady Bunch: The Voice of Christmas

The Brady Bunch
This isn’t as funny as the rest of the list, but it is a classic. It is probably the best of the classic television Christmas shows. A few days before Christmas, Carol loses her voice. This will keep her from singing in church on Christmas day. Everybody is so depressed that she may not be able to sing that the kids want to cancel Christmas. Cindy then asks Santa for her mom’s voice to return. Call it luck or a miracle, Carol’s voice returns Christmas morning.

1) South Park: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo

South Park

Kyle is forced to quit the Christmas pageant when his mother hears that her Jewish son is participating in a Christian production. She along with others in the town demand that anything offensive to anyone be removed from the Christmas celebration. This includes Santa Claus, Christmas trees, wreaths,  lights, and candy canes! As a non-religious alternative Kyle suggests they sing  “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.”

Mr. Hankey, is a talking piece of poop that spreads the Christmas cheer. Only Kyle believes that he is real, and is locked away into a mental institution. With no Christmas icons in the pageant the children start believing. This allows Mr. Hankey to reveal himself to everybody. He then brings happiness to the whole town!


The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at MillionairePlayboy.com believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)


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Comments: 2 Comments
  • hammerhead

    As a fan of the show JAG when it was on, I always enjoyed the yearly Christmas episode they produced. One in particular that is probably my favorite of those is where they had every character involved in a storyline that resembled traditional Christmas stories. For example, there was a young marine who had a pregnant wife, who were kicked out of the base housing, he was a drummer, they didn’t have any place to go, there were three visiting diplomats from the Middle East that offered three gifts, one being a real estate magnate with a new apartment building, etc. One of the other stories was the main character was flying an F-14 and ended up having to find a lost plane in a heavy fog, flown by Marines trying to deliver Toys for Tots toys, they had to turn on all the plane’s lights, including the red front gear landing light, guiding the plane like Rudolph. They crammed so many different references to Christmas stories into this one hour episode. It was awesome. They even included a reference to “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

    • I saw a few of the JAG episodes. They didn’t stand out though as much as these did. My brother reminded me of one that maybe should have missed, the episode from Friends with the Holiday Armadillo.