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Essential Seven Wesley Crusher Fails

Wesley Crusher from Star Trek The Next Generation receives a lot of hate from Trekkies.  Maybe it was the fact that he was a kid piloting a galaxy class starship.

I could also argue that the writers didn’t care for the character either. On the show Wesley was often the cause of a lot of problems and agitation for Captain Picard. He did sit in his chair! Wil Wheaton who portrayed the young ensign has embraced the backlash. As he should. Wil Wheaton was only playing a role. It was not his fault that a person hated his character.

I always enjoyed the character of Wesley. I was never annoyed with him as much as other fans were. He was just was given a raw deal, a lot! I think like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory I identified with Mr. Crusher being about the same age. I cheered for Wesley when he made out with Ashley Judd. However, from time to time the character screwed up. That is why this weeks list is The Essential Seven Wesley Crusher FAILS!

7) A Snow Covered Picard

From the episode “Angel One”
It was innocent enough. Wesley and a friend head over to the holodeck for a skiing lesson. Well things get out of control and they begin to have a snowball fight. Just as Picard is walking by the holodeck, Wesley throws a snow ball that smacks the captain in the face. Sure it was all in fun, but somehow Mr. Crusher was able to throw a holographic snowball off the holodeck. Perhaps Dr. Moriarty should have consulted with Wesley on this accomplishment.

6) Wesley Shrinks the Universe

From the episode “Remember Me”
LaForge allows Wesley to play around with the warp drive to work out his experimental warp bubble. However, Picard gets impatient and wants his warp drive now! So Wesley gives up the experiment, only to notice that his mother suddenly disappeared. Trapped in the warp bubble, everybody begins to disappear around Beverly to the point that the universe is shrinking around the ship. Luckily the traveler arrives and helps Wesley “see beyond the numbers.” My favorite quote from the episode is from Beverly Crusher, “If there’s nothing wrong with me, maybe there’s something wrong with the universe!” If she only knew it was Wesley’s fault.

5) Rainbows!!!!

From the episode “Datalore”
This is more of a costume designer fail than a Wesley fail. However, the character of Wesley did put this shirt on in the morning thinking that it was cool. I know it is supposed to be the future, but I can’t accept it. The shirt is “gay.” Not in the sexual preference way, but more like Picard’s “Nexus family life” from the Star Trek Generations. No matter what year it is, wearing this rainbow shirt is tough to pull off. I give him credit for the attempt.

4) Released Nanites, Like the Borg

From the episode “Evolution”
Wesley doesn’t have a good history with successful experiments. This time Wesley released a series of nanites (or small robots) that became sentient and began to replicate. The ship begins to fall apart and ruin “that guy from Scrubs” experiment. The nanites attempt to make contact using Data as their intermediary. Sounds a bit like “Best of Both Worlds.”

3) Plant Killer!

From the episode “Justice”
While visiting the planet Rubicun III, Wesley breaks the law by crushing the new plants. Because of his lack of respect of everything green, he is sentenced to death. Picard interferes ignoring the Prime Directive and beams Wesley to safety before he can be hanged for killing the tulips.

2) Nova Squadron Coverup

From the episode “The First Duty”
Wesley is a member of the elite group known as Nova Squadron at Starfleet Academy. One of the members Josh, dies in an accident as the group were attempting the dangerous maneuver called the Kolvoord Starburst. The group led by “Tom Paris” attempt to cover up the accident by lying instead of what really happened. Of course Captain Picard figures out the truth telling Wesley that he shouldn’t lie to him. He eventually shames Wesley into telling the truth.

1) Annoys Picard

From the episode “Datalore”
The worst thing that Wesley ever did was annoy Picard. A good portion of the first season has Wesley frustrating Jean Luc on countless occasions. In the same episode as the “Rainbow Suit” Picard blatantly tells Wesley to “shut up!” Over time you get the feeling that Picard considers Wesley the son he never has. He grows to respect the boy. The show has ended in 1994. Perhaps with all that time passed we can respect him too.


The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at MillionairePlayboy.com believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)


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