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Click to see!

Stretch Screamers Premium at McDonald's
by Mr. Stinkhead®

Kudos McDonalds. Kudos. This month, in observation of Halloween, McDonalds is offering Stretch Screamer toys in their Happy Meals™. I have been a fan of Stretch Screamers for a long time now, particularly their Angry Alien toy. (More on that in a bit). So when I heard that Toy Quest was teaming up with McDonalds for this month's Happy Meal™, I was very excited. When the box of toys arrived, I was even more excited. To wrap up the entire line of eight 4" figures, they have great sculpts, and sweet playability. They're durable too.

Click to see!The guy on the right (and left), the purple-floaty-brain-man, [Ed note: or Hangover Man if you catch my drift] is my favorite. There is a shared love on the MPb staff of action figures that have a bubble on their head. Even more so if that bubble is protecting a preciously demented brain. This figure is a robotic body for a poor dismembered head. There is a great painful grimace (McDonalds... Grimace... kapow!) on the brain itself as it bobbles in his little tank. Press the orange button on his... chest, I suppose, and a small current tumbles the brain around. (The physics are like those old water pinball games from the 80s). He's got a great solid construction. You can drop this guy on the floor, due to your greasy french fry fingers (can I get you a napkin? Sheesh, slow down, they'll make more), and he'll be alright. He's got tough stretchy arms with robotic claws on the end. You can twist his arms and legs, however he will only stand with his legs in that position. This is the coolest Happy Meal™ toys I have ever encountered. It's sweeter than the McD Skeletor. (Which wasn't a bad toy by any stretch, but this is a natural progression).

Click to see!Like the brain in the bubble motif but still hungry? Check out the runner up for coolest McDonalds Happy Meal ever... Ivan (named in honor of our Marvel Mini Mates Custom Contest winner. Anyway, he looks like a wonderfully deviant mad scientist. He's got tough stretchy arms, moveable legs and mysterious purple stains on his lab coat. It's not gross blood... it's fun lovin' guts! Anyway, the thing that makes this guy so incredible, is if you push up on his legs (like RamMan) his brain pops out underneath the bubble. Sweet!. Click here for a pic of that!

Click to see!Ok, so who else do you get? Well I particularly like how each creature does something different. This guy looks much like a certain creature from a certain lagoon. He's got a nice detailed sculpt, and stretchy arms. If you pull on his arms, his chest lights up. Click here for a pic. You can move his legs, however, he can only stand in this position. Let's call him Deep Sea Angler (light-up fish, c'mon...).

Click to see!This mummy is pretty cool. You pull on his arms and his head flies around revealing a cartoony mummified face. Pull again, and it flips back to normal. I'll comment here that the stretchy rubber used isn't as pliable as the standard Stretch Screamers, but I think this material is much more durable and will hold up to more torture tests. The arms and face move on this one. We like the name Johnson (and his alter ego Johnson). [Ed note: It's not that complicated... think about it]

Click to see!This curious guy looks like a skeleton warrior. You pull on his arms and legs and his popoid spine makes a cracking racheting noise. His arms and legs can be rotated. Having a harder time naming this one. Let's call him Wallace, after Braveheart. You can stretch him like the recanting scene. And his armor looks a little medieval. The original version was going to have a voice chip that says "I love you, I always have" but that was a wee bit creepy.

Click to see!I'm diggin' this cyborg guy. He has bubble for a stomach, and if you press the button on the back, a blue fluid goes up the tube, and through his eye. Start pumping rapidly for the goo to keep cruisin'. We've been calling him Stomach Juice through out the office. In this picture we zoom in a bit on his inner workings.

The box the meal comes in is nice too, well, half of the panels are for the girls' toy Madame Alexander. There are some cool things you can pop out and put together, but I'm a particular fan of the art. It harkens back to the Garbage Pail Kids, MOTU box art of old.

Click to see!Click to see!

Click to see!Oooh! I've been talking about this squishy alien the whole time, and making you wait, so here he is. I love this guy. He's about 14 inches tall. He's got a molded hard plastic lower body, so he'll stand up on your desk or shelf. His torso and arms are durable stretchy (really stretchy) rubber, so you can pull and squeeze him. If you squeeze firmly around his chest, his brain pushes up through the top of his head and bubbles out, under the safety of his hard plastic bubble. I love that it's gross and oozy, but self contained. The brains themselves look like diced Jell-O in a thin plastic film. Oh, you think that's cool, turn his button on, and he'll scream when you stretch his arms, he'll scream louder when you force his brains out. This whole thing kind of ticks him off. And it's sweet.

Did I mention the ladies love him?

So to bring this all back together; hopefully from this little guide you can go out and pick up the toy of your choice from McDonalds (there are two others we did not review). Each one does a little something different, and it's a great way to add just a hint of Halloween spirit to your office. (Cardboard smiley spiders from Rite Aid are for old ladies.) McDonalds, you did a great job, you're going to have a tough time topping this one. Oh, and after all of that! The Monopoly game is back again. Woo Hoo! At participating McDonalds while supplies last

Visit McDonalds.com or ToyQuest.com.



All photographs are ©2003 MillionairePlayboy.com.




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