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Forget Human Girls: The Top Ten Hottest (and Coolest) Star Trek Alien Babes
by Tate Blackmore

ROWWRRRRRIn the spirit of all of this Trekkies fun, we're counting down the top ten alien (and half-human, half-alien) women of Star Trek. Why are we ignoring humans like Tasha Yar, Beverly Crusher, and Edith Keeler, you ask? Well, it's more fun this way, and besides, our friend, the Gorn Captain needs a hot date for the Trekkies 2 premiere and he's not too big on humans. So get set, these girls are the real deal. You won't find them sitting around eating yogurt and saying, "Mmm, this is a weekend on the holodeck good!"

The Gorn Captain says: "Bring on the babes!"

10. Martia (Iman)
From: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Classification: Chameloid
Brains and Beauty? Sure, she was smart and hot enough to get Kirk to make out with her. Oh, wait... Fact to make your parents worry: She's condemned to life in prison on the Klingon asteroid of Rua Penthe.
Annoying dating habits: After making out, she morphs into you, or worse...William Shatner!
Appealing Trait: Knows that not all species keep their genitals in the same place.
Girlfriend material? Yes, and to keep things interesting in the bedroom she can morph into anyone you wish...a big monster, David Bowie's wife, DeForest Kelley.

9. Ro Laren (Michelle Forbes)
From: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Classification: Bajoran
Brains and Beauty? Sure, her smoldering looks and saucy temper once snared that big lug Riker.
Baggage: Forced to watch her father tortured at age seven, responsible for killing eight away team members when she didn't follow orders, and was turned into a child by an energy field.
Bad girl uniform: Bajoran earring and Starfleet shirt with no sleeves.
Girlfriend material? No, otherwise she wouldn't be the bad girl.

8. B'Elanna Torres (Roxann Dawson)
From: Star Trek: Voyager
Classification: Human/Klingon
Brains and Beauty? Although she sometimes has a hard time dealing with her mixed heritage, others find it quite sexy.
Turn ons: Human men. No! Klingon men! No, human...ah forget it.
Bad questions to ask when trying to make a first impression: "Why did Klingons in Kirk's time just look like vaguely ethnic people in grease paint and fake eyebrows?" and "So, you reprogrammed the gym teacher from the Wonder Years to alter the geniality of your unborn baby, huh?"
Girlfriend Material? Surprise, surprise, this firecracker is happily married.

7. Lt. Saavik (Kirstie Alley)
From: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Also: Parts 3 & 4)
Classification: Vulcan
Brains and beauty? Her intellect is off the charts, unless you ask her to solve the Kobayashi Maru scenario. Yeah she's that buttoned up, hair pinned back secretary look, which is nothing a few Romulan Ales couldn't fix.
Turn ons: Watching Spock go through Pon Farr (gross Vulcan puberty)
Appealing traits: She's the only Vulcan on the planet that DOESN'T have Jim Carrey's Dumb and Dumber haircut. Though, no one claims to notice.
Annoying dating habits: Shows up for first date in an evening gown and takes dates to Pier 1 Imports. Even weirder, on the third and fourth dates she is played by actress Robin Curtis.
Girlfriend Material? No. "Going together is probably 'illogical'."

6. Kara (Marj Dusay)
From: TOS Episode #61, Spock's Brain
Classification: Eymorg from Sigma Draconis VI
Brains and beauty? Other than possessing the ability to surgically remove a person's brain and keep them alive, she's got as much sense as a pan of Hamburger Helper. But, on the upside, she's super-sixties, baby doll hot!
Interests: Staring blankly, wearing pointy bras
Annoying dating habits: Crippling every man in the room with a push of a button.
Girlfriend Material? It all depends. Do statements like, "Brain and brain! What is brain?" turn you on?

5. Anij (Donna Murphy)
From: Star Trek: Insurrection
Classification: Ba'Ku
Brains and Beauty: Humble and intelligent. Plus, she's more than 300 years and hotter than most women that are in their twenties.
Appealing Traits: Can instantly create romantic moments by slowing down time, can come back to life if you hold her hand and think about it hard enough.
Girlfriend Material? Definitely, but it looks like Picard has already called dibs.

4. Jadzia Dax (Terry Farell)
From: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Place of birth: Trill
Turn ons: The black paneling and chrome trim of classic tricorders, Spock
Appealing Fact: Those Trill markings go farther than her neckline, if you're into that sort of thing.
Annoying dating habits: Talking about when she used to be a man.
Girlfriend Material? No, unless you want your arm ripped off by her husband, Worf

3. T'Pol (Jolene Blalock)
From: Enterprise Classification: Vulcan
Brains and Beauty? You bet. She rivals Spock as a science officer, and even makes his haircut look cute and kinky.
Appealing Facts: Once turned down an arranged marriage. Doesn't believe in time travel and skeptical about doing it, so there won't be any harsh Edith Keeler incidents if you date her.

Girlfriend Material? Hmm, she's been called "cold and distant," what do you think?

2. Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis)
From: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Classification: Human/Batazoid
Brains and Beauty? Yes sir-ee, a big pile o' curly hair and a brain strong enough to read yours, so keep the dirty thoughts on the down low.
Turn ons: Chocolate, a beardless Riker
Interesting Fact: Has a closet full of unisex body suits.
Embarrassed by: Her mother, Lwaxana Troi - a sassy, flirty older woman that gives Mona from Who's the Boss? a run for her money.
Girlfriend Material? Nope. She was single there for a while, but now has an Imzadi, which is like being super-married.

1. Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan)
From: Star Trek: Voyager
Classification: Human/Cybernetic
Brains and Beauty? She's a brilliant engineer and science officer, and since she was disconnected from the Borg collective, she's stopped referring to herself as "we." And yeah, the Borg queen is fugly, but man-oh-man can those Borg pick a hottie when they assimilate people!
Interesting Fact: Has fake left eye, like Sandy Duncan
Turn ons: Locutus
Girlfriend material: Yes, despite her limited emotional capabilities. But seriously, how often can you say, "Yeah, my girl has implants, but they're critical to her life support system, man"?

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Check out Lando's interview with Trekkies (1 & 2) director Roger Nygard.

All photographs are copyrighted their respective owners. Article © 2003

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