Essential Seven Best “A Christmas Story” Moments


I don’t care if you agree with me or not, but A Christmas Story is the best holiday film of all time. There is something so genuine about this film. I easily will watch this 2 or 3 times on Christmas day, I love it that much. What is your favorite part? So much happens in this film that I thought I would list the Essential Seven Best A Christmas Story Moments:

7) A Crummy Commercial!

Be Sure To Drink Your Ovaltine

Ralph like all of us learned at an early age all about commercialism. Big companies don’t really care about anything but the mighty dollar. Hoping to get a members only secret message from Orphan Annie, Ralph uses his decoder pin only to learn that she want’s you to buy her crappy chocolate drink.

6) The Triple Dog Dare

Triple Dog Dare You

Flick is the man! He doesn’t take any shit from Schwartz, and won’t back down on his position that a tongue won’t stick. Schwartz ultimately issues Flick a “triple dog dare” to stick his tongue on the flag pole. Of course Flick’s tongue gets stuck, but he’s all man for not backing down!

5) Visiting Santa

Visiting Santa

Having no success convincing his parents or teacher that he should get a BB gun for Christmas, Ralph turns to his last resort Santa Claus. However, Higbee’s Department Stores Santa was no hope. After telling him that he wants a Red Ryder BB gun the evil Santa tells him he will shoot his eye out.

4) The Scut Farkus Affair


Ralph could have easily avoided this if he would have stopped being a jerk, and listen. Because he didn’t he had to pay the price after school. What Scut wasn’t expecting was how much of a crazy fighter Ralph was. Scut took  a good beating.

3) Shooting His Eye Out

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

The first thing Ralph does after opening his Red Rider BB Gun was to “almost” shoot his eye out. Luckily, his glasses saved him from losing an eye. Maybe a football is a much better Christmas gift.

2) The Major Award

The Major Award
The old man speculated that his major award could be anything, including a bowling alley. They would just send the deed! Turns out his puzzle efforts awarded him a woman’s leg lamp. The soft glow of electric sex looked beautiful in the front room window. Sadly, no wife can appreciate the beauty of the lamp. Mrs. Parker “pretended” to water her plants, and “accidentally” broke it.

1) Aunt Clara’s Gift

Aunt Clara's Gift

Aunt Clara is an amazing seamstress. Ralph isn’t very appreciative to the work that she put into the costume. I know if my Aunt Pat made me a pink bunny costume I would proudly wear it! My only question is what was the outfit exactly? A costume? Pajamas?

The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)

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