Essential Seven Conan O’Brien Characters

Yesterday it was announced officially that Conan O’Brien is leaving NBC. Jay Leno will be returning to The Tonight Show for years of bland unfunny comedy that America will eat up. The saddest part of all this is that we may never see any of the re-occurring characters that Conan and his writers have developed. I thought it was important to dedicate this weeks list to the Essential Seven Conan O’Brien Characters. We love CoCo!

7) FedEx Pope

The Fedex holiness is nothing more than a guy wearing a white bathrobe with a FedEx box on his head. Conan ridicules him while he drinks the church wine.

6) Vomiting Kermit

He didn’t create the character of Kermit, but he did make him vomit! Every once in a while Kermit shows up to vomit at a Conan bit. Why is somebody puking always funny?

5) Cloppy

Cloppy is a depressed and suicidal horse that ends every sketch shooting himself offstage. Why is he depressed? Because Jay Leno is returning to The Tonight Show!

4) Preparation H Raymond

Preperation H. Raymond is a buck-toothed, large eared man who loves Preperation H. He sings songs about it, and then hands out tubes of the product out to the audience. Reading that description doesn’t sound funny, but damn I crack up every time he is on.

3) PimpBot 5000

The walking, talking robot who pimps those bitches out stops by the studio from time to time. His street-wise attitude of a 1970’s pimp is always looking to collect his money. It has been a while since we have seen Pimpbot. Now we may never see him again.

2) Masturbating Bear

The Masturbating Bear is dressed in a diaper and likes to masturbate in public. His cattle prod armed handlers keep him under control. Before Conan took over The Tonight Show, Conan had him frozen in carbonite.

1) Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

No surprise here. Triumph has been the most popular character to come out of Late Night. Triumph is performed by Robert Smigel. The cigar smoking puppet has insulted everybody since 1997. It’s sad to think that we may never see Triumph again.

The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)

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