Essential Seven Grossest Garbage Pail Kids


Looking back almost 25 years, the Garbage Pail Kids are rather tame. In the 80’s though they caused an uproar from parents. The cards were the boys response to the girly Cabbage Patch Kids, and were an instant phenomenon. I clearly remember buying pack after pack hoping to find the Adam Bomb card, and the variation Blasted Billy. The Garbage Pail Kids were disgusting, but they stayed away from certain bodily fluids. A few cards went a step beyond of being gross. That is why this weeks list identifies the Essential Seven Grossest Garbage Pail Kids.

7) Armpit Britt

seven_gpk_07Sorry ladies, but there is nothing grosser than an armpit of smelly hair. Especially when they attract flies! I love that the armpit hair has the same yarn texture as the hair on her head.

6) Fat Matt

seven_gpk_06Not all fat people are disgusting, unless you look like Fat Matt. The obese Garbage Pail Kid is so fat that he breaks the scale. Perhaps its time he is featured on TLC’s Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic.

5) Crater Chris

seven_gpk_05I hate it when I get one zit let alone hundreds. Crater Chris is covered in them. Having zits doesn’t make you gross. Squeezing the pus out of them does.

4) Abandoned Andy

seven_gpk_04Anything that deals with vomit is just gross. I don’t quite understand the card. If your abandoned on the island, with no food, how can you fill bottle after bottle of puke? Eventually your stomach will be empty.

3) Messy Tessie

seven_gpk_03Messy Tessie grossed me out even as a kid. We all have long snot rockets, but this is a bit over the top. What is really disturbing is the bottle of nose spray at her feet. Addict?

2) Gooey Huey

seven_gpk_02Another snot based character. This time Gooey Huey is made entirely of snot. The snot even has snot!

1) Cold Sore Lenore

seven_gpk_01Cold Sore Lenore is a girl you just keep away from. Look at that sore on her face. It looks like an asshole!

The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will promise not to laugh at your dumb opinion! 😉

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