Essential Seven Reasons to Hate the Twilight Saga!


The Twilight phenomenon drives me insane! I never read the books, but everything I hear is that they are really poorly written. (I wonder if they are worse than my weekly writings here?) For weeks friends’ wives have done nothing but talk about how they are excited for the new film. The countless media saturation is off the chart. I can’t take it anymore. This inspired me to list the Essential Seven Reasons to Hate the Twilight Saga!

7) Team Edward Cougars

Crazy Twilight Fans

If you’re a Twilight fan you must choose a side. Team Edward or Team Jacob. Who should Bella be with? Seems like most people choose Team Edward. Why you ask? Because I guess Robert Pattinson is hot, and the “cougars” have taken notice. Who are these obsessed women? Sadly its a lot of older women scrambling to look at the young actor. I can understand the teen girls fawning over him, but the older women are just pathetic.

6) The Bella Character


Ok, I admit it, I watched the first film. I was curious. I enjoy vampire stories, but wasn’t aware that the story was such a stupid teen romance. The writing was horrible as well as the acting. The worst was the character of Bella. I found her to be underdeveloped and poorly written.  Kristen Stewart’s portrayal was a whiny, selfish, and unlikeable character. Apparently a lot of women hate her too. You can read about it here, here, here, and even here!

5) Twilight Oversaturation Coverage

Media Coverage

I realize that the Twilight books are very popular. I also understand why Twilight would be featured on magazines, TV shows, and other forms of entertainment when the films or books are released. However, there is always a point of too much coverage. For instance, Entertainment Weekly has featured Twilight at least four times on the cover. We also have to read about why Miley Cyrus hates the film.

4) Changing Vampire Folklore

Vampire Folklore

I really hated how Meyers changed the Vampire folklore to fit into her cheesy book. Stephenie Meyers took most of the typical vampire folklore from history and threw it out the window. In Twilight, the vampires can walk around during the day. They also sparkle! Meyer ignored hundreds of years of vampire folklore showing no understanding or respect for its history.

3) What it Tells Girls


As a teenager I never liked people telling me that a form of entertainment may influence me. Now as a parent. I worry that maybe these people were sometimes right. Teen girls (and the aforementioned cougar infatuation) are in love with the character of Edward. It’s not healthy for young girls to believe that their “true love” involves a guy who watches you while you sleep and isn’t only interested in getting into your pants.

2) Rip Off


The idea of a woman falling in love with a vampire is not a new concept. Twilight however, feels like a rip off of the books called the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. These books were turned into the HBO series True Blood. Both books feature a forbidden relationship between a girl, vampire, and supernatural being / werewolf. The way both authors writer about a vampires and their mannerisms are very similar. I’m not claiming that Meyers ripped Harris off, but Harris did write her books first.

1) Joss Whedon Did it Better


As a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, I can’t accept a better Vampire romance than Buffy and Angel. Joss’s characters were always well written. Buffy was a strong, witty, and spunky woman. She didn’t need Angel to always save the day. The vampires in Buffy also actually felt pain, and didn’t change the vampire folklore.

The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! ;-)

Tags: , , , ,
Comments: Comments Off on Essential Seven Reasons to Hate the Twilight Saga!