Essential Seven Seinfeld Fake Movies

Over the run of the show Seinfeld, created a number of fictional films. Some of these poked fun at movie cliches. Others became a running joke throughout the series. A few actual films made it into the show. Elaine hated The English Patient while Jerry made out with his girlfriend during Schindler’s List. It was the Essential Seven Seinfeld Fake Movies that I most remember:

7) Blimp: The Hindenburg Story

Blimp: The Hindenburg story is a drama based  on the Hindenburg explosion. During the Puerto Rican Day parade, George goes to see the film. When the blimp explodes George begins to laugh and shouts “That’s gotta hurt!” On his second viewing a fellow moviegoer continues to shine a laser pointer annoying George.

6) CheckMate

A film that features chess and intrigue is the plot of the film CheckMate. The gang attempt to see the movie together, but find themselves watching Rochelle, Rochelle instead.

5) Chunnel

Chunnel is the film where Elaine and Jerry’s talking irritates Susan, who “shushes” them. The plot involves an explosion in the Channel Tunnel which causes an evacuation. You can hear  a character from the film yell, “Everybody out of the Chunnel!”  Seinfeld Writer David Mandel says that the fictional film Chunnel involves the President’s daughter being trapped in the ‘Chunnel’ between England and France.

4) Death Blow

“When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but because of different reasons altogether!”

Death Blow is the film that Kramers friend Brody is bootlegging. When Jerry realizes that Brody is bootlegging the movie, he pulls Kramer outside of the theater to confront him. While outside, they hear a loud explosion, prompting Kramer to realize, “Ah man, we’re missin’ the death blow!”

3) Prognosis Negative

The film that Elaine never gets to see because of a dog named Farfel.  The gang is overly excited to see the new film “Prognosis Negative.” They never end of seeing the movie all together, because they can’t leave the dog Farfel alone in Jerry’s apartment. In an interview on NPR, Larry David was asked what the fictional film was about. “ about a single guy who is unable to commit to a relationship. He finds out an ex-girlfriend has six months to live and decides it’s perfect…he can commit without worrying about the long term consequences.”

2) Sack Lunch

Elaine can’t stand the film The English Patient and decides to go see the film Sack Lunch instead. The poster features a family of people inside a brown paper bag. Was the family shrunken down or just inside of a paper bag? And who’s lunch were they going to be?

1) Rochelle, Rochelle

“A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk”  was the erotic artsy European film that George was caught renting by Susan. Her reaction to seeing George with the film says everything we need to know. While we never saw the film on screen, the description, along with the name was enough for all men to want to see it. My guess is that it is filled with boobies.

The Essential Seven is a weekly list of seven items that we at believe needs to be identified. Want our opinion on a topic for a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree with our list? Then leave a comment. We will try not to laugh at your dumb opinion! 😉

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