Machete Kills – Blu-Ray review

Danny Trejo’s Machete returns, this time on a mission from the President (Charlie Sheen) to save Washington from an extremist’s ticking missile launch. Did you enjoy the original Machete? Directed by Robert Rodriguez, the Grindhouse trailer turned feature length homage to trashy exploitation films is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. If you “get” what it’s doing, you can see it does “it” pretty well. Honestly, anyone that criticized the first Machete for being mindlessly dumb didn’t really pick up on what it set out to do. Those people will not like Machete Kills any better. Machete Kills picks up right after the first and plunges you right back into a world of comedic violence, bloodshed, and scenes of pure awesomeness. If you did enjoy the original Machete, and wanted more, this is it, right here.

Many of my favorite images and moments from Machete Kills are a bit spoilery, so I can’t say too much. I thought Cuba Gooding Jr had an amazing entrance. I will actually praise the writing, I thought, though based on homage, nothing seemed cliche’d unless it was overtly referencing some movie convention. That’s right, I thought Machete Kills, the sequel to a spoof trailer-made-feature, is rife with creativity. All in all it’s a fun ride, and if you’re in the mood, you’ll be rewarded.

click for largerI also liked all the big name stars like Lady Gaga, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, and Sophia Vergara. I’m hoping the inclusion of A-listers (ok that’s a stretch… B-listers right?) helps indicate to the unindoctrinated that they’re missing out on a bigger joke. Also, note that Spy Kids‘ Alexa Vega (right) has been taking her vitamins.

Two criticisms. One, there’s no real nudity. Fine, I’m going there. But there isn’t. In the first movie, there is some spectacular nudity by the 3 minute mark, and then you’re pleasantly surprised throughout. Yes, I enjoy the visages of the undraped female form as much as the next guy, but I felt they were holding back this round. There is enough language and violence to secure the R rating, but it felt like they kept the nudity out to maybe get a PG-13 rating, and then forgot to put it back in when they went overboard with the CGI blood splatter. That leads me to the Deleted Scenes. The deleted scenes are worth checking out (as there is some honest-to-God naked lady pieces in there) and they’re worth a watch. Let’s bring my critique back up a notch. I thought the nudity of the first film really covered all their bases for referencing the exploitation flicks of the era, and I don’t think a movie like this would, um, be so modest, back then.

This is a fun movie, and if you loved Machete, you’ll also love Machete Kills. I love Machete Kills, but it’s still very clearly a sequel. My second criticism is that they’re building up to the third installment Machete Kills Again, In Space. I feel like a little too much of this movie was preparing us for the third. Make your second movie, make it good. Then I’ll come see the third. Remember how good Iron Man was? And then Iron Man 2 spent way too much time building up the Avengers upcoming movie instead of just getting on with the Iron Man saga? Machete Kills isn’t that bad, but there’s a trailer at the very beginning of the film for the 3rd Machete movie, so you know where it’s going before it begins. Maybe the trailer tipped me off? Look, it doesn’t ruin the experience. In fact, the Machete films are up there pretty high on my re-watchable list.

If you liked Machete, you’ll love Machete Kills. It’s awesome. Number one awesome part? Machete is totally wearing my leather jacket throughout the first half of the film. I have that same leather jacket. I got it a year ago. Now I feel like a bad ass.

Ok, stop being a wimp and buy Machete Kills (Blu-ray + DVD) right now. Also, if you get the Blu-Ray combo pack, you get the digital version so you can watch it again on your phone.

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