The Bad Parts: Star Trek (2009)

This week we are starting a new feature called The Bad Parts. We already have a re-occurring article called The Good Parts , where we find something good in a bad film. We are now doing the opposite by finding the bad in a good film. Got that?

First up is J. J. Abrams Star Trek from last year. Surprisingly J. J. found a way to re-create the original cast of Star Trek into a new feature film. I admit I was skeptical. I still prefer William Shatner and company over the new guys, but it was enjoyable. It’s not perfect.  There are some bad parts:

Orion Slave Girl Fail, Gaila is Not Hot
Since the 60’s the Orion Slave Girls they were part of a lot of geek’s fantasy. I know it’s creepy. Hot green ladies! For some reason, Gaila, just was not hot. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. Something just is not right. Rachel Nichols who portrayed Gaila is freaking hot. She just doesn’t look good in green.

John Cho as Sulu
“Oh My” was this a bad choice. Other than the Asian ethnicity, this is the only similarity between the two Sulu’s. George Takei who was the original Sulu was always confident and funny. John’s portrayal was goofy and confused. The only positive part of his Sulu performance is that John didn’t attempt to talk like George Takei. That would have come off sad.

The Destruction of Vulcan
I hate alternative realities. I hate when writers destroy an ongoing continuity. I hate that they destroyed planet Vulcan.

The Death of Amanda
The destruction of Vulcan was just as screwed up as the death of Amanda. I feel sad that these writers had to create an alternative reality because they couldn’t be creative enough to write around the Star Trek lore.

Scotty Stuck in the Water Tube
The entire scene of Scotty beaming into the Enterprise’s water tube is just goofy. I  know it was done for laughs, but I didn’t find it humorous at all. In fact I cringed when I first saw it.

Spock and Uhura’s Relationship
I was really caught off guard when it was revealed that Spock and Uhura were in a relationship. Watching it on DVD I was still caught off guard. Why? Because it is just weird! I always enjoyed Spock as Vulcan struggling with his human side. J. J. Abrams let is loose.

The Quick Promotion
Most origin stories usually feel rushed. Star Trek is no different. The film starts out great with the birth of Kirk. We are then introduced to him as a child along with a young Spock. Next thing you know they are aboard the Enterprise with Kirk fresh out of the academy. A few hours later he is Captain. That’s a fast promotion! It would have been nice to have spread the academy years out slower. It would have been more believable if Kirk was out of the academy for a few years before becoming captain.

Ben Cross as Sarek
Ben Cross had a very difficult challenge of filling Mark Lenard’s shoes. Sarek is one of the more beloved minor Star Trek characters. Fans love the relationship of Spock and his father. The combination of logic, along with Spock’s human side is a great dynamic. Ben Cross wasn’t horrible as Sarek, he just couldn’t compete with Zachary Quinto’s Spock.

The Bad Parts is a re-occurring article that features the bad parts of good movies. I say re-occurring because the article usually appears when we want to bitch about a movie.  Be sure to check out The Good Parts articles that feature good parts in bad movies. Got it? Want our opinion on a movie in a future list? Email Lando Da Pimp. Don’t agree us?  Then leave a comment. We will promise not to laugh at your dumb opinion! 😉

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