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thanks Chud.comHaunted Mansion Premium at McDonald's
by Mr. Stinkhead®

Ah, Disney's Haunted Mansion opens today, and McDonald's helps celebrate with six toys from the film. I really, really think Disney should have released this movie closer to Halloween, these toys would have been really sweet for Halloween. Here's my overall feeling the toys. I like em. They're fun, they'll look cool on my desk. Will the kids like them as much? I don't know. If I was seven, I'd probably be "done" playing with them before the car ride home. But, this magazine is not for seven year olds, its for people our age, so I'll point out which ones to check out.

click hereI am impressed, most of the toys have an electronic feature that helps with the eeriness or whatever. The first one I opened up was the singing bust. You know, there is something classy about putting a bust on your desk. A bust from McDonalds is ironic (work with me here) so it's funny. The best thing about this bust? Press the knot in his tie, and a small sound clip plays. Here's the rub... if you play this once, you will play it a second time. That second time will forever etch the tune into the recesses of your brain. I admit, I would be singing and humming the tunes from the Haunted Mansion ride when in Disney World (I was 12, gimme a break)... but this little snippet, it's like that chewed up orange Cheeto's gunk you're picking out of your back teeth the morning after, it's like that Plan B Special Forces pistol that fell behind your desk and .5 inches away from your finger tips... oh yes. Barely within reach, yet, not going anywhere. I will throw out one hazzard warning here: You put this on your desk at work and show someone how it works, and you will hear Creepy ghosts come out to socialiiiiiiiiiiiiize many, many times.

click hereMy favorite toy is the Madame Floating Head's crystal ball. There are two pieces, and really nicely detailed base (pic), and the light up ball. The ball features an inverse relief of the Madame's head. You're familiar with this concept, if the face is reversed (like the mold of a face) you can move your head from side to side, and it appears as if it's following you. Anyway, there is a switch on the back that lights up the face with an eerie green glow, and the effect is the best I've seen. Seriously, I've had toys in the past, or seen this "follow you wherever you go trick" a thousand times, and only half of the time does my brain really believe it. This is actually pretty cool. Infact, the picture came out really well too. This pic shows you what you'll see.

click here The next one is something that may be more helpful than you realize. This shiny black casket happens to be the perfect size for playmobil toys. You may find this weird (or not) but there has been a quest of sorts in the playmobil collecting community to find an appropriate coffin for playmobil toys. There is a playmobil vampire who needs a place to sleep, and we've all made photo-stories where someone dies, and then the widow and the minister ... anyway the coffin by itself is pretty cool. Though not electronic, you slide the lid down and a creepy ghost comes out to socialiiize. He's "spring" loaded (less complicated than it sounds) to pop out and grab your finger. In this pic, I've also recreated a playmobil funeral. This casket is also a decent size for Kubrick's or Marvel Mini Mates.

click hereThese next two were harder to photograph. A mirror and a camera... both of them feature a light up ghoul face that appears when you look into them. The mirror one is best seen in the dark, and with the old Victorian era camera, look through the view finder and click the shutter button, and the ghost will appear. These are kind of cool, but really, how much fun is a kid going to have with a mirror? You know what, I had lots of fun with a mirror when I was a kid. NO click hereI did not wear make-up or whatever your dirty mind is thinking, I had my own television show, and it was on whenever I saw a mirror. I had really good ratings. Maybe I should take over at Fox, NBC, CBS or ABC... either one could use the programming help... of a seven year old. Warning, the creepy face in the camera is really scary. Don't say I didn't warn you before opening that pic.

click hereThe last one is a haunted chest that, when opened, grabs your hand and vibrates. It too is mechanical, no batteries. The cool thing is there is plenty of space to hide stuff like money. It's about 3 inches high by 4 inches wide. My girlfriend rarely touches my toys, so this is a good new hiding space. The creepy hand is nicely detailed.

Ok, these toys are nice. I think they would have been pretty cool around Halloween, ofcourse, the Stretch Screamers were the best Happy Meal™ toy, and well suited for Halloween. These toys are cool, but there's not as much play value with each one. But you know, I haven't seen the Haunted Mansion film yet. Speaking of watching movies, there's a sweet Rent one, get one free coupon to Blockbusters on the Happy Meal™ bag.

Visit or The Official Haunted Mansion movie web site.

Article and all photographs are copyrighted 2003

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