Minifigs: When you need something compact and entertaining to play with in the car ride to the Hall of Justice or you like smuggling things up your butt, Miniature Figures or Minifigs (as virgins say) are essential to any disposable income.
Shiny Lucky Turtle Launcher This weird thing fired marbles from its belly and came with a tiny black sword. The "Takara" stamp on the back is suspicious. Weirder still, I bought this over here in American packaging. Expect the real story soon as I contact my Playmates answer man. No not Monica Bellucci.....she was busy.
Starscream Heroes of Cybertron These Walgreens only are slightly holding me over till the goddamn Mega PVC's come out stateside. Who is gonna buy the 20th Anniversary Prime when It comes out? I am.
Sprat Yaba wiizzle tuutop meezle weexle. Shaba du wabu "Marvel's Most Wanted" ensabe no wang.
Robin Batman the Animated Series This line was killer and the new Mattel line is gonna be hotter then Great White's new club tour.
Phaeton Exo Sqaud Playmates 1993 Oh the glory of EXO SQUAD. Look for a full length article soon. Fun Fact: Phaeton's rousing speech in the third episode to the leagues of Neo Sapiens was based on Hitler's famous Huremberg speech.
Pez Fruit Drinks This is the cap to the new Pez fruit drinks and I can already see stoners trying to make a bong out of it.
Mario Kart One of the most underated toy lines ever. These little Go Karts are so much fun and the figures fit nicely and are pretty articulated too. As we see here, Mario has been a typical Italian with his dealings with "Friends of the Family". Aparrantly he can't pay back Don Wario from the betting on illegal Koopa fights. Remember kids, Mario says There is no Mafia *cough* cough* wimper*.
Mini Skateboarders I picked up a pack of these at Block Island (ironic cause there is only educational toy stores that carry block figures). The package is misleading, it looks like you get a ramp with it instead of silly little slap asses.
Scary Muscle Finger Puppet Proof sometimes maybe you shouldn't stick a quarter into that machine before you leave Toys R Us. [Ed note: But you can learn a lot about many things by sticking your finger in them.]
Qaud-sected Dwarf from Kaiyodo's Fist of the North Star This thing is so cool. Although the figures themselves sucked ass and fell apart too easy, this little dwarf who accompined one of the homo figures rules. He can be pulled apart in neat slices and put back together.
Butt ugly Martians My mom got me a bunch of these figures in Scotland several months before the property hit America. That's why mom's rule.
Burger King Halloween Mr. Burns I hope burger king keeps putting these out every halloween. This one is my favorite with a light up feature.
Krang and Antman I'm free! It smelled like brain matter!! This smaller version of Krang is dear to me and one of the few figures to survive my troubled teenage (and fire happy) years as well as the great Ebay Cullings of '02. I keep my mini Animated Avengers Ant Man inside him so they stay warm. Ant Man also can with this mini ship which opened when the larger scale Ant Man passes his magnetic wrist over the cockpit.
Like Krang? Check out our other Krang Mini-figure.
A cheap Lego-type of blocks that would suck except they had small figures with interchangeable parts and tiny weapons. This is all that is left of my collection.
Alien Mez-Its Mezco
This little guy is super-sweet. He has a little jaw that pops out, and comes with an astronaut and Space Jockey. You can turn the astronaut's head around to reveal a planted face hugger, or you can pop the Alien in half and have a sweet finger-puppet show! Read our review with loads of pics here.
Face Hugger McFarlane Toys
However many flaws the two pack had, it looks great and has alot of nice touches. You get three facehuggers with detachable pods and one of the pods lights up. I hope Apu stays away from him.
Apu Simpsons Blocko Figures These are slightly dissapointing. Lots of cool accessories but the execution of the figures is poor. However this pic is hilarious
Advanced Dungeons & Dragon's Elf
Thanks to SpyMagician for submitting these next three.
Bandai's Beta Midgets Sold in vending machines in Japan, Beta Midget is Bandai's answer to Takara's long running Microman (released stateside in the 70's as Micronauts.) Consisting of Male and Female Midgets, armor "Jackets" and the villainous Larvae the line gives you a LOT of playability and articulation for a vending toy. Just avoid Series 1 as it was plagued w/ substandard plastic and the figures literally crack and fall apart. If you know names and want to contribute, contact us.
Click here (or on the pic) for a whole gallery of pics.
Takara Smallest Transformable Transformers More than Meets the Eye, and tiny too! These miniature replicas of G1 Transfomers are amazing and fun. Fully transformable you'll be amazed by how successful Takara was micronizing often complex G1 toys. The line also included "chase" versions of Bumblebee in red and Skywarp. Beware though, case ratios are bad and a single case does not necessarily guarantee even 1 full set!
Click here (or on the pic) for a whole gallery of pics.
Furuta's Portrait of Hero, Gladiator An amazing candy toy line from Furuta, it features 8 highly detailed miniature roman gladiators. Mounted on a miniature colliseum base the series includes generic masked gladiators in Caucasian and African skin tones, as well as big names like Spartacus, Commodus and Ceasar himself. There's even a Gladiatrix!
Click here (or on the pic) for a whole gallery of pics.
Sgt Snot Earthworm Jim - Playmates Is this even the right name? I dunno but I loved the Earthworm Jim line and this guy sinks in tubs really easy like. Thanks to reader Ben that let us know this guy's real name is Major Mucus.
Toy Vault's Middle Earth Frodo Why is Elvis a munchkin and wearing an S&M alternative lifestyle nipple chasity vest? I dunno. But up until two years ago this was the best fantasy toy we had. It got me through the tough years until Toy biz released LOTR figures from the movie.
Rikachu - McDonalds Is this even the right name? I dunno but I feel victum to the fourth Riech that was Pokemon and Burger King's happy meal promo. My apartment was littered with poke-balls.
K-9 GI Joe
When I was a boy, I had a dog named Law (or maybe Order). He was great and him and his master used to drive around in a yellow Corvette I got from KMart. One day my real dog chewed Law beyond recognition and I think that is ironic. Years later Hasbro tried to pass my Law off as this silly sheep snow leopold Doggy snoozer, but I could tell the difference.
Nak Nak - Hasbro Nak Nak Nak Nak it is so fun to say. I would've never bought these but I got one NAk NAk for free in a Happy Meal and I have eaten there three times since. Today. To get more of them. Kinda fun.
Buck Rogers' Tweaky I picked up this Tweaky at a comic shop a year ago. Surprising articulation and condition... but pop it into a display case and people will ooh and ahh.
Zbots Galoob 1993 I didn't like these then but I think I like them now. Like Like, though ya know.
Unknown Soldier What line is this from? Please email us if you know. They came with vehicles that transformed with a press of a button? Any clue ? And what was that line that was a flashlight that changed into a military base? Why?
Mini Turtles Playmates I hear they are retrying this idea with the new TMNT relaunch. These came first and more or less got lost very easily.
Swampies from Uranus War Planets Trendmasters -This line had some potential but I dunno maybe it didn't... I dunno. The figures are fun to chew on thought. You can see it can't you?
Quepys - Dollar Store Score! These things are kinda "Quepy" but only cost a buck. There
was a sniper, astronaut, swat, soldier, etc. I later sold them on eBay for prices upwards of $7.00. Capitalism.
Rockman Takara 1997 I recall ordering my first Rockman model from ActionAce.com. These puppies were cool although you had to put them together yourself.
Ysalamri This cute thing came with Grand Admiral Thrawn from Hasbro's Expanded Universe line. It's a great way to break up serious tension amongst 3 3/4 figures.
Rusty (and big guy) Bandai He came from the big 12 inch Big Guy and his feet unplug and
he can be placed into Big Guy's hand socket. Also if you pressed his talking feature button really fast he said This is Bullshit. No Lie go try it.
Brine Shrimp Invaders War Planets Trendmasters Beware the shrimp.
Nintendo PVCs I loved these thing when I was a kid and they pacified
my need for Nintendo figures. It wasn't easy playing with Link though, cause he always had to be either blocking or stabbing his feet. Here's Luigitoo.
Matchbox Army guys Mattel 1998 I can't remember the name of this series but it was
around the same time as Mega Rigs. There was a huge clearance of them and I think they went for .99 cents a pack. Very cool stuff like helicopters with magnet tow cables. Here's some more of the troops.
Pee Pee Max If you thought the French were suspect before, check out this disturbing
number I picked up in gay parii! It really pees, squeeze his head in water and then let her rip. Now what does this say about them?
Floating Asian Heads The newest craze in the east! Get your again floating heads, collect all 207!
Star Wars Mini Figures The Action Fleet from Micro Machines owns. The Carbonite Han that came with the Slave I opened up and there was a little poseable Han inside. BAD ASS. Here are some more plus a vintage metal mini-fig Darth Vader.
Smiti Fred Durst This is the promo from the 2002 Toy Fair. Action figures of rock stars suck. I like this one's legs... but they're no Mini-Mates.
Ghost from Ghostbusters Kenner 1989 Ya know a lot of these ghost were cool especially the ones that came in the tub of slime. You had to dig around for them and then do whatever else Satan told you.
Unknown Robot from Mr. Stinkhead: "I got this as a party favor in the 1982 range. I think he was part of a series. He's diecast with nice wheels (still intact) and about 2.5 inches tall. Know anyhthing about him? Let me know.
Construx Fisher Price 1985 Another survivor but he didn't fair so well. I impaled him with a nail through the chest then tied a string to him and left him at the bottom of the pool during the winter. I thought this would make Mom and Dad stop fighting.
Crappy Knights Yeah hoo-ray for laughable Dollar store purchases!
Chim Chim and Sprittle Resaurus 1999 - From one of the greatest toys in the universe,
the Mach 5 playset. Check Sprittle's role as Elian Gonzalez in the RTM 2000 Year in Review (by Mr. Stinkhead)
Bone PVC Toy fare Exclusive Man I was so psyched to send my seven bucks away for this
p-o-s that came nearly a year later. Thanks Toy Fare. Never take a bone from Toy Fare.
Alien Figures These are cool and hard to come by. Check out the two gruesome Ash figures: One with a hole in its chest and one with a face hugger. I also have the Queen.
Random Army guys I found one little one and one big one. He is wearing a green hat.
Batman PVC I think I won this at a fair around the time the first movie was opening.
Lego Star Wars What a thrill it was when this line came out. I ended up selling most of my Lego collection to fund things like...rent...food...more toys....etc.
Check out the new Gamorrean Guard and Boba Fett
Marx Presidents of the United States I found this at a dead person's house that I cleaned out (See my bio). I took him everywhere in high school and the girls dug him. Fun Fact: Taft was a brawler. He punched out a reporter who misquoted him.
Planet of the Apes Pericles Speaking of monkeys in astronaut suits, is there anything cooler than a space monkey? The Pericles figure from the Tim BurtonPOTA was the only good figure to come out of that line. Problem was he was released in the second wave and most retailers were burned by the first and didn't put out too much from the second wave. This guy even comes with a bad-ass space pod he can sit in. Here is a pic of him with his helmet on.
Medicom Toy's Bearbricks Although attractively disturbing, Medicom launched these Kubrick spin-offs of differntly themed bears. Most of them look gay. This one is kick ass.
Music Kids Another bi-product of the cool Japanese Urban obsession. I don't know which artist this is but I am sure he has an American first name and a Japanese last name. I'll call him Beaver Hitoro. There, now I am a artist from Japan.
Star Wars Darth Sideous Hologram This came with the worthless Count Dooku figure I tirelessly tracked down only to be bored with his crapdom. It looks like the Virgin Mary and I use him in my Homies front yard diorama. (Ed note: I have the Princess Leia hologram from one of the R2 D2s... virtually indistinguishable.)
Star Wars Bootleg I found these at the elephant graveyard that is the KayBee outlet stores. It was filled with spooky old low priced shit like a sealed box of Ninja Turtles trading cards (Series 2). I ate the gum which turned to foul tasting paste. I can still taste it.
Mini Ash My former roommate bought this for himself then wrapped it and gave it to me for my birthday a week later. That was an anecdote.
Microman 1999 (Secret Breast Edison + Acroyear) This line is cool but never was released state side. Edison (hee hee Breast!) lights up when you press the button on his backpack and his chest changes colors when he is in Love or Angry. Acroyear fires small green balls (hee hee) from his cannon hand for toddlers to choke on. Both have magnets for lots of locker fun! *Punch* Punch* ...ahhh, stop...my books *kick*.
Warhammer Space Marine Warhammer...oh the tyrant beast of nerdity. I will go into depth on this touchy subject in a future article. For now know they are tediously fun to paint and come out looking nothing like the pro painted ones.
Ultimate Musclemen Ha Ha they are back. The eighties are commercially viable and so Kinnikuman is resurrected. Unfortunately they are molded in strange homoerotic poses. (Ed note: I am warning you, these are just wrong)look and I told you!
Mattel's G.U.T.S. I dunno about these...something about war and an article I wrote or something...OH NO LOOK OUT it's Carlos! Mouse over the image
Stikfas Freakin' goddam gunfundammital popelick tastic. I love these things. The price point could be dropped a few bucks but they are awesome. I hate models cause they break easily and I feared these were the same but I was wrong. They are sturdy plastic with weight to them and the joints and pieces more or less stay together. They can take a beating. Look at the cool ones I bought. Be warned though, the Tan figure is really a peach flesh tone. Fury, Army, and Tan Punk.
Imaginext Pretty cool stuff. They got knights, I like knights. They are extremely cheap ($2.99-6.99) and I've amassed an army extremely quick. They lack a little in the play factor because their armor restricts their movement. Good stuff though, thanks mom.
DC's Pocket Heroes So much potential. It's great they are making every frickin' figure in the DC universe (which I've always felt had a deeper well of interesting characters then Marvel) but these things are so static they are no fun. If they loosened them up a bit and maybe even use a more Super Powers body type these things would rule. Then I'd almost shell out 9.99 for two.
WizKids's Hero Clix Kinda mini-figures, just pop them off the dial and then they can battle your Warhammer figures and they get wet from the tears when you cry cause your life is caca.
Art Asylum's Mini-Mates These things are pretty sweet, they've got the modular design of Kubricks but a great poseability. Check out our article on the Mini-Mates Bruce Lee, with action photos! and our coverage of the new Marvel Mini Mates
Mezco's Tiki-Mon Hopefully these will see the light of day before too long. They have great sculpts, a little bit of Treasure Troll hair on top and look great on your desk. They're pretty original too.
Play Along Toys' Lord of the Rings Armies of Middle Earth Can't say anything about this line other then it will blow you away and it is the most anticipated line to come down the opium pipes in a long time. I have torrents ACKK.....um sorry....FFUUUU....ah. Click here already.
Avar the Antlien The only good part about Toybiz'sSilver Surfer line was the sidekicks that came with each figure. This is my favorite. I named him Avar.
Target Knights For one dollar I got a pack of two knights and two horses at Target. If I ever live to be a dead beat dad, I will buy this sort of thing for my kid's birthdays.
Tin Tin PVC (1994 Playstoys Herge Belgium) When I was in Paris I bought a Tin Tin PVC figure. Tin Tin is the star of Herge's comics and had a cool cartoon on HBO where people got shot. I either forgot it or it was stolen by a maid in the Hotel Cristobal Colon in Madrid. Incase you didn't hear, I typed those names using a castillain accent. In any case I have never seen another figure of Tin Tin and if you have any leads I got a nice prize package for ya.
Pewter Knight I got this in Disney as a little kid and I loved it. Many years later at the Basílica de la Santa Cruz del Valle de los Caídos I would see huge marble carved figures embedded in the walls of the temple in a similair pose. Good times, I highly recommend you swing on over there.
Playmates' Krang This was from a later figure in the TMNT dynasty of a regular sized Krang's body. It came with a mini Krang that I adore so much so that I burned the top of his head with a magnifying glass.
Mattel's Judge Dredd This was an attempt to sell sort of ready to play figures set at a low price. I thought it was the bee's knee but the rest of the world didn't. Luckily Mattel decided to base the figures more on 2000AD instead of the crap-a-licious Stallone movie.
Vital Toys' Homies Good way to waste a quarter. Finally a reason for the people who mug you to take your change as well. Here's a picMr. Stinkhead got at Toy Fair autographed by the original artist.
Headmaster Transformers Before Mini-cons there were Headmasters and we liked it.